Four years after my mom had passed we had to put my dad into an Assisted Living facility because he could no longer live at his home. My sister and I found a place and were so excited to get it all setup for him, with his TV, bed, recliner, family photos so that it would feel a little bit like home.
The facility was not very far from my work so I was able to go and see him on my lunch or sometimes after work. He seemed very happy and was adjusting well. After nine months living at the facility my dad started falling a lot and needed to be in a wheelchair and have more care than the facility could handle, so my sister and I checked out the VA Nursing home (since our dad was a Veteran) and put him on a waiting list.
About a month later we got a call from the VA saying that they had a room for my dad, we were relived because he would have 24/7 care.
My dad was not happy at all going there and was very depressed (we didn't know what else to do) none of this was easy and the stuff we had at the Assist Living facility that made him feel at home we could not bring, all he had at the VA was a closet and a bed. Our hearts ached the first night when we had to say goodnight and walk away.
I worried so much about him and wanted to make sure he was in good hands, I could not call him on the phone like I did at the other facility, so every morning I would leave my home early for work and be at the VA at 7:00 am to visit with dad about 30 minutes.
The staff did amazing work with all of the patients by having them dressed, cleaned up and in their wheels chairs ready for breakfast. Dad would be outside of his room (which I know he looked forward to seeing me) and I would come and take him to the cafeteria and get him a cup of hot chocolate and myself a cup of coffee.
I did this 5 days a week and 1 day on the weekend for 1 1/2 years. That morning cup of coffee with my dad ended up not just with him but with the rest of the VA patients that were there in the morning that made my day.
They would all wave at me, smile and salute and I would make sure they had a cup of chocolate or coffee or even a little conversation. I felt that I was making a difference each day with all of them and also with the Staff who took very good care of my dad.
I would always share my penny stories with dad and tell him that they were mom's pennies from heaven.
July 25th 2011 I had been very restless because the last couple of days dad had not been doing very well, the VA called that morning to say that dad had another unresponsive episode. So I went up the the VA to see him and my dear friend who works for Hospice was their checking up on him. He was on oxygen and seemed a little better and I wanted to make him laugh so I told him; You know dad, mom is always sending pennies from heaven to us and when it is your turn if you will up the ante and send maybe dollar bills? He and my friend just rolled their eyes, laughed and she said; Chris; what are we going to do with that Kathy.
August 6, 2011
I was giving a baby shower that afternoon for my step-daughter. I was so stressed that I would be getting a call from the VA about my dad and not be able to have this special shower for her.
My daughter-in-law came by about 8:30 that morning to bring cookies that she made for the shower and said she would be there later. She gave me a hug and said; Oh I found this in the driveway and handed me a dollar bill!
Now if I found a dollar bill I would have kept it and bought me a cup of coffee or something, LOL. She did not know the story that I had told my dad at the hospital telling him to send dollars instead of the pennies that mom had been sending.
My theory on this was that that dollar was from my mom, because she wasn't going to let my dad be the one to up the ante and make her look bad. LOL
I know it sounds crazy but know one else knew about that conversation in the hospital except for my friend from Hospice and to this day we still talk about that DOLLAR BILL.
